Oh, will you just finally crash the stupid plane, already?! Please?!?
We know it all ends with what some would call a miracle. I can tell just from the way you’re setting it all up – for, what’s it now, nine freaking episodes? So, what’s it going to be, all told? Ten? Finally? Or, Heaven forfend, more?
Naturally, given the hints and clues that you’ve dropped – over the last eight! parts of this seemingly interminable framework – I went ahead and did some research, to try to find and pinpoint this incident in this Earth’s recent history; I mean, seven or so years isn’t all that far back to go; plus, I began to vaguely recall hearing, or reading something about the event at the time that it happened.
However, when I went to look, I found nothing, or, that is, almost nothing out there. It became clear to me that, for reasons I cannot at this moment fathom, all reports and information regarding the crash had been meticulously scrubbed from the internet. And frankly, I’m a little dismayed that Kyiv Unedited is only reporting on it now – more than seven years after the fact!
And I put in every search term and every combination thereof into the several search engines I was using, that I could come up with, and… nothing…
Except for one they didn’t quite get; because, for whatever reason, “Destiny Raven” yielded a solitary result: The report had made it into that Saturday’s Wichita Whistler, Weekend Warrior Edition – a broad, squat, 16-page tabloid with the story buried on Page 11; as though there’d been pressure put on the papers fast, and, no doubt, on all local media, and never mind nationwide, to tamp down all news about the crash.
But there it all is, as I have a printout of the report right here:
- Thin Air, plus details about the airline
- Destiny Raven, plus details about the aircraft
- Flight, including date, time, number, non-stop from Kyiv to L.A.
- Even the Ukrainian captain’s humorous name – Dopobachennya, which means “Goodbye”, or, perhaps more accurately, “Until we see each other again”
- Well, of course – he’s the unsung hero of the whole story
- Some details regarding the contingent of Ukrainian movie-industry types headed to L.A. to try to sell their ideas to Hollywood for possible movie deals
- Some details about the crash and how the plane came out of it mostly whole, with a wing and its wheels missing
- A line or two about how every single one of the more than 200 passengers on board miraculously survived, plus a few words regarding the typical injuries sustained
- How one guy had a heart attack and survived
- How one woman broke her arm
- And that’s about it – no mention of any Zippy.
In conclusion, the only thing we know about that flight, which is new, according to this latest report by Saint Stephan, is that The Devil Hisself was on the plane. And there would have been no way that anyone else reporting this story would have known that, so…
I bet you some of these latter details will be in the inevitable Part 10 – hopefully, the last. Gee, I hope I didn’t just spoil it all for Saint Stephan, The Writer…
Jack Step
Reply:
Well, boyo, sounds like you’ve somewhat returned to your senses. Or did ya, now?
By the way, Step; is it true you’re three-percent Paddy? Because if you are, I’m going to expose that – because the Truth is the most important thing. And if you don’t fess up, you know I’ll have no problem finding out.
Have you really gotten off the sauce? I mean, for good? Asking for a friend.
That’s right, Jack. I knew you’d be mentioning some of the pertinent details about the crash in this un-mandatory Story Notice to this Part 9 of this framework series, so I didn’t bother going into them too much more in Part 10, which, since it is killing your ass so damn much, will be the final episode of this particular story. When we get there…
And, yes, The Devil is real. Perhaps that’s the point…
Saint Stephan
Reply to Reply:
Don’t know about the three-percent Paddy; maybe I am.
So, let me ask you this, Saint: is it possible you’re a three-percent Jew? Just asking… for a friend…
Oh, and by the way, are you alive, or dead, or some kind of more-or-less equally distributed combination of the two? Can I call you The Ghost Man?
Jack Step