The Ferret, The Ferret, heh, heh, heh-heh-heh, climbing up the glass of steel buildings on cloven hooves, vampire corpse perpendicular to the wall, pointing his shoulders blades out under his…

From: The Lost Interviews, Part 1 So, who do you read that you have become such a writer? Surely, you’ll acknowledge influences. Well, uh, uuuhhhhh… Dostoevsky, Kafka, Maupassant, maybe Samuel…

A running digest of the latest Ferret headlines The Munificent Swaggerer: Ferret Fired From Ukraine’s Only English-Language News Rag No, no, it’s not true! I left on my own terms.…

I met my dinner companion near the exit of the Poshtova Ploshcha (which translates roughly as Postal Square) metro station in Podil. He arrived almost exactly on time, just a…

From: The Lost Interviews, Part 87 It means you’re just a filthy, rotten, stinking, no-good, good-for-nothing, lowdown, lazy, lying – I’ll sue you for defamation! I’ll sue, I swear I…

A detailed account of what really happened, as truthfully told by The Hunched Cornish, and why Shangri-La is now only a Lost Horizon The Hunched Cornish wasn’t supposed to make…

A man in Kyiv you don’t necessarily know… DRAMATIS PERSONAE: Josh Davies (JD) D (Me, Myself, I, D…, Me again, I AM, I AM NOT, Me too) Me: Hello, is…

The workday has ended at Boss Lard’s PR agency, and Welsh Losser is headed for home “Whew, I’m whipped,” he thinks to himself, as he puts on the fold-up furry…

DRAMATIS PERSONAE: The Memory of Saint Stephan A Ukrainian Sergeant-at-Arms, Vasily Judge presiding over Court of Expatriate Kyiv, The Dishonorable William Bill Publowsky The Defendant, The Ferret The Defense Attorney,…

Dear Mr. Smith: We here at Kyiv Unedited have decided to publish your rather childish courtroom drama about The Ferret being on trial in a corrupt judicial system somewhere in…