KYIV UNEDITED

The examiner is cross The judge is at a loss The jury is laughing The bailiff cracks a smile Saint Stephan is still on trial “Are you Welsh Losser?” “I…

Don’t look over my shoulder, brother Don’t go peeking at my screen Don’t try to read my emails or You might not like what you seen “Hello. Who am I…

He’s a character I’ll write I’ll bear my witness to that Take your stand or sit it out Hang the jury in the night “How would you characterize the character of…

Not a Dream of Kyiv, but quite simply, Sweaty’s a filthy loser And everyone’s sick of his pathetic ass Sitting, Sweaty decides to speak. “Uh, ich Oym ‘ere reckoneen ye…

Just so you know, my dear Just so you know Just so you know, how I love you so But Jim Book is with me right here Just so you…

We, of Kyiv Unedited, and especially its Secret Editorial Board, and secondly, its Management, embark on a letter-writing campaign to David Lynch, which, we are certain, will succeed These are…

The first letter Kyiv Unedited sent to David Lynch got no response. We, of Kyiv Unedited, are not jumping to conclusions, but rather, trusting in the good faith and will…

Kyiv Unedited has received no response from David Lynch after sending him two letters. So that wasn’t very nice on Mr. Lynch’s part, was it? So what choice is there…

We are humbled… no-o-o-o-o-t… Kyiv Unedited: Forgive me, please. To answer the way you put it in your second letter to me, it wasn’t that I WAS too busy to…

Emergency Note from Kyiv Unedited Secret Editorial Board: Dear Readers, We are sounding the alarm and working strenuously to delete this account of David Lynch’s alleged rendezvous with representatives of…