Dear goys and churls: You demanded context. Your aggression and bullying toward us were unwarranted and gratuitous. As a result, you’ve provoked the genie out of the bottle; you’ve created a monster, and now, you will suffer the consequences of your rash and obnoxious demands, for, by golly, we are now going to give you your oh-so hankered-after and yearned-for context – the whole filthy, sordid lockbox of horrors – opened for your delectation – if, that is, you can take it…
Well, actually, it’s not that big of a deal – so read on! At least now you’ll know the entire unexpurgated reason why Jack Step, with Dirk Dickerson as witness, completely demolished the Heavy Hebe’s state-of-the-art satellite spy system in the subbasement of Kyiv’s main synagogue (see 4.38. KYIV COMMIX for all the crazy action), and our conclusion, personally, is, we’d be lying to you if we said antisemitism had nothing to do with it, ‘cause we admit: It did! IT DID!!! You could write like a 400-page book on the topic just based on and around this one heinous and morally reprehensible episode.
Shit… antisemitism had EVERYTHING to do with it! And the only thing that’s missing now’s a Black man…
Or, are you of a mind to contradict me?
So, as we were saying [see 4.45. KYIV COMMIX, immediately preceding]:
“Ring-ring-ring… Ring-ring-ring…”
“Hark, our ancient landline, which none of us here hardly ever uses anymore…”
“Ring-ring-ring…”
“Ah, shut up! Hello… HELLO… Who’s there?! Answer me, why don’t you?!”
“Nu…”
“Rebbe? Of all people?”
“Who is it, Step?”
“It’s the Heavy Hebe. Can you believe it?”
“Well, what’s he want… what’s he want…?”
“For, you are not suggesting that we… Jews… had anything to do with the horrific cold-blooded public murder of one of the greatest U.S. presidents of our age? And so that there is no confusion in the matter, I very much mean JFK…”
“No, no, Rebbe – where did you get that notion?”
“Because let me tell you how it is, Jack Step; for when we Jews are involved in anything, then we are 100 percent the cause of it. Otherwise, zero! Which is exactly the percentage by which we were involved in the murder of JFK. This, you must believe…”
“Well, Rebbe, I like to come to my own conclusions, and as far as I’m concerned, I do not believe the Jews were 100 percent behind JFK’s assassination. In fact, I don’t even think they had a substantial part in it that was, say, less than 100 percent but more than 50 percent. But I will say that at this time I do think the Jews did play a small part in it. However, I believe that part was so small as to be almost inconsequential, practically negligible…”
“Nooo! It is either 100 percent, or nothing at all! In this case, it is the latter, and it is this that you must –”
“Way-way-way-way… hold it, Hebe, hold it right there!”
“Hey, Step, what’s going on. What’s he want? You know, for some reason, I’m getting the strange and eerie feeling (and, of course, I don’t know why) that, for some reason, we’re going to be looking back at precisely this moment to try to understand and put into proper context the actions we took that followed (this moment, that is), but which neither of us has any idea what they are, yet…”
“Sure, Dirk, sure – hold on… Hey, Hebe, it just struck me how it is you knew Dickerson and me were at this very moment discussing the JFK assassination? You know, like any other pair of all-American detectives scarred by life and self-inflicted wounds even before we got here who have somehow ended up stranded in this Eastern European backwater, which I hesitate to call an outright shithole if only for sentimental reasons, sunk inside a war far from their own homeland with nary a hope of ever getting back, who don’t want to get down to doing any real work they’re being paid a chump’s sum to do; but just casually throwing around our theories as to who it could have been that killed him, Kennedy, that is, when you call – something I can’t remember you ever doing before, by the way, and after all these years of our, shall we say, to say the least, interesting acquaintance – and precisely at the moment at issue, with your otherwise fortuitous curveball objections that merely coincidentally address what Dickerson and I were discussing, and, I don’t know what to call them, your stupid fucking directives, instructions, rules, commands, demands, regarding the very thing we’re discussing, to bully us, with a barely veiled subtext of threatening, into toeing your pathetic pro-Jew line, to wit, that you people had absolutely nothing to do with the Kennedy assassination. Now, maybe you didn’t. But I say you did – albeit, in a not significant enough proportion to the totality of the deed to merit from at least me any attention worthy of any… ah… attention – and like that…”
“No! With us, always, either 100 percent, or zero; and here was zero – not even a little, like you say, so you must never say it!”
“Step… Step… what’s he want… what’s he want…?”
“Hold on, Dirk. Um, Hebe. Okay. I almost agree. Maybe I’m just being stubborn – pridefully so… you know… like goyim…”
“Nu…”
“And so maybe, just maybe, you got a point. So, what do you say we, that is, Dirk and I, come over, and we can talk all this over?”
“For I will be happy to host you in any enlightening discussion that will help guide you to the right conclusions, not just in this matter, but regarding pretty much everything having to do with the Jews. So, when can I expect you?”
“Oh, we’re coming over right now…”
“Now? But…”
“See you in a few minutes, Hebe – bye! All right, Dirk, put your hat on, get your coat. We’re taking the roof copter. Just make sure your hands are good and bandaged up.”
‘Woah – where to?”
“The main synagogue, my dear Watson. And after that, there’s a movie I want to catch…”
Filed by Saint Stephan, December 19, 2025 – yes, it is indeed that time of the year…