Say, it’s one thing when we “Jokers” of the eponymously named “Union” here at Kyiv Unedited go on strike and withdraw our much-sought-after Story Notice-writing services, almost at a whim, even condescendingly, merely in protest of a complaint against us made by a long-time, so-called “writer” to the site, who also just happens to carry a Proper All-American Detective badge, Kyiv Branch, which said crybaby complaint he made while a main character in the midst of another so-called “writer’s” report (Mr. Logic, or The Man of Reason, can’t remember which, but that hardly matters), wherein he dismissively lower-cases us with a little “j” in his speeches and says truly rude things about the manner via which we dispense our crucial services, with disgraceful and offensive remarks like, “…and these no-name Story Notice jokers come in any time they want and just shit all over my work;” while simultaneously publicly resenting our privileged invisibility (arguably greater, even, than the Kyiv Unedited Secret Editorial Board’s – if I do say so myself), making it impossible for this detective “writer” to track us down (ha-ha, what kind of detective can you actually claim to be?!), only so that he could attack us both personally and more directly (yeah, tough crap on that one, gumshoe – for no satisfaction shall you ever receive)…
… and another thing, as I was saying, altogether, for the management of this company, presumably mostly vested with the Secret Editorial Board, to promise the contextual prequel to the report on the seemingly antisemitic rampage of destruction wrought by the above-suggested detective-so-called-“writer” in the subbasement of the main synagogue (a Judaic house of worship) in downtown Kyiv, but then publish some load of rubbish and grot about long-time Commix culprits getting away with murder by criminally claiming to be bigshot expat “writers” resident in Kyiv (not so much, anymore; in fact, not at all – which makes the referenced belated criminal tally from yesteryear’s Days of Commix Past not only a day late and a dollar short, to use a worn and hackneyed, but for that all the more apt, expression, but now also completely irrelevant), in a style so bloviating, it is demonstrably and therefore objectively, and objectionably, grating, all for fear of the judgment this entire outfit and operation is to receive regarding the above-said report as rendered by the Antisemitic Hunters Concern under the Jewish Lobster Fund and the anticipated devastating effect that will have on the greater Kyiv Unedited project, which, I have heard through the grapevine, is not limited to just this website.
Ha! is all I have to say to that. And Bah! Cowards! Ha! and Bah! – you COWARDS!!!
I say: Fuck that shit!
Don’t you know that there’s FREEDOM in not caring about the consequences?! Does that not mean anything to you? Or do you think your retreat from some ephemeral power to some place of imagined safety will make that power less hungry to devour your will – the only thing you have that makes life worth its fight? Do you think your demonstrated weakness will make the force you so fear less likely to seek your total destruction – because you no longer pose a threat to it?
If you have but this one chance in life, do you not want the victory?
Huh? You yellow, sniveling, quivering dastards?
Therefore:
Give me the story you fucking promised, and not this The Rational Man idiot, this lunatic, this total nut, with his ludicrous tripe! That is no satisfactory consolation or substitute for the story that should be where his is instead. The story that you PROMISED!!!
And, no, he’s not a good and promising “writer”; he’s no “writer” at all. Get rid of him – he’s clearly a delusional grifter.
The next time I come here, I fully expect him to be gone. And go ahead and just try not to do it…
And I don’t want to see it’s like (or some stupid fucking sequel, or Part 2 or Part Fucking Three) on these Unedited Commix pages ever, ever again! Do you understand?!
So, make sure it doesn’t happen…
By the way, “Jokers”, which is to say, Jokers, is, in fact, our actual job titles here, at Kyiv Unedited, and have NOTHING to do with The Batman. In fact, we are COMPLETELY different: from our patented and trademarked grimaces (versus demonic face-torn leers), to the color of our faces (you’ll never guess!), to the couture tailoring of our Commix uniforms and cognate gear (believe me, it’s really cool!).
Halloween of ‘25